Been Awhile

I love journaling and writing, but haven't done much lately. Kinda been in a funk. I have all kinds of thoughts and ideas, as well as fears and struggles floating through my mind. Most of us do. Welcome to life. I'm keeping to myself lately, which definitely has its pros and cons. Different seasons in life. This season of mine is by choice. Been a challenging one to say the least. Filled with lots of grace. Thank goodness. Some days I do better than others accepting it. Don't we all. 

The other day I had the chance to sit beside a friend who recently suffered a stroke. Pretty bad one I might add. Speech and cognition impacted and it has been life changing for all. I can't say I understand, but I try. I got to pull up a chair and sit next to this friend. We looked out the window together...watching people come and go as they please. My friend cannot come and go as he may please. It makes you think. Made me think. We take so much for granted. Our health. Our families. Our freedoms. Peeing on your own. The list goes on. It's my reminder to enjoy each day I'm given no matter the season I'm in. I fail miserable sometimes, most times, but it's something I strive for. Finding joy in the everyday grind of life. Despite the darkness and hardships that come our way. Life is hard. Not sure why I expect easy to be the norm. I'm complicated. Life is complicated. What gets me through is that God is with me. He never leaves. 

I am a big fan of k-love. Always have been even if they do play the same songs over and over. Always nice when a new song pops up. This one by Tenth Avenue North came on the radio the other day on my way to work. Just what I needed. This song captured my recent thoughts and feelings. It's worth a listen. 

https://youtu.be/cjetZn5lrBcy

Some of the lyrics...

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

I don't want to live in fear
I want to trust that You are near
Trust Your grace can be seen
In both triumph and tragedy

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

But sometimes my faith feels thin
Like the night will never end
Will You catch every tear
Or will You just leave me here?

A verse from Isaiah 43:2 comes to mind...

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

No matter how high our waters are or how hot the fires of this life may feel I need to remember God is with me. I tend to forget. Or I tend to not believe. At least lately. It's good to be reminded. 

Life is messy. Here's to finding joy and holding on to this hope I have in the depth of my soul.